It all started when my mother started having severe pains she said it felt like she was going into labor and knew it was way too early, so she went to the hospital the doctor said that they didn’t see anything that was alarming and sent her home. A few days later she was still experiencing the pain she was having before so they went back to the hospital again but this time she saw a different doctor and it turned out her placenta was torn. They told her that she was going to have to have me early. She was being set up for an emergency C-section; they had a very rough time with delivery. I finally arrived only weighing two pounds but since I was so small and so early my lungs weren’t fully developed and I wasn’t able to breathe on my own. They had to rush me to a hospital in Pittsburgh because they didn’t have the right equipment for me there, but because of the blizzard they couldn’t life flight me, so they had to take me by ambulance. They didn’t have any oxygen machine in the ambulance so one of the nurses had to hand pump me oxygen the whole way there, so I believe she was one of those angels that saved my life.
The most of the next three month I spent hooked up to a bunch of machines and breathing tubes to keep me alive. All of my family members came every day to visit me; they couldn’t get over how small I was. The only thing was that no one was allowed touching me a lot because of a sensory issue but my Dad he was never really one to listen to anyone or follow any rules. So when I was able to breathe on my own my dad would always take me out and hold me, he always said he remembered that I was so small that I fit in his palm. That’s crazy if you ask me. This whole time I was in the hospital my Mom was still in Altoona hospital recovering, but when I was strong enough and didn’t need assistance breathing anymore they sent me back to Altoona. From there my Mom was pretty much back to good health and we were all able to go home and live our lives and my parents thought everything would be great from there on, but of course they weren’t so right.
The first couple years seem to be perfect for my Mom and Dad they had their first child and couldn’t ask for anything better. When I was growing up I was a really behaved baby but of course like all babies I could be very moody at times. My parents started to notice that something wasn’t quite right I wasn’t developing like I should be; going through all the phases like pulling myself up, sitting up, crawling, and then walking seemed to be challenges for me. I seem to have trouble sitting up by myself, and crawling; so my crawling pertained to more of a “military crawl” and walking was not in the picture at all. My parents knew that something about it wasn’t right so they went to the doctors for an opinion, but all they got was he just a “late bloomer” it seems. They left it at that for now and just went home, growing older like five, six, or seven nothing seemed to change. I was still having trouble walking on my own, so they went to the doctors again they knew this time they couldn’t have any other excuse. This time the doctors did show concern, but they couldn’t seem to figure out the situation at hand. They recommend us to go a specialist in Pittsburgh at the Children’s Hospital there, and that’s what we did.
Shriners Children’s Hospital, this is the place where I spent most of my childhood and where my parents and I got the news that we thought at the time was going to change all our lives for the worst. When we first arrived to the hospital they ran a bunch of tests to see what they could find after hours of waiting and so much puzzling thoughts they finally found out what was wrong. The diagnosis was Cerebral Palsy, which affects body movement, muscle control, muscle coordination, muscle tone, reflex, posture and balance. It is actually caused by brain damage or abnormal development, in my case it was caused by all the oxygen loss from before, during and after I was born. They couldn’t actually pinpoint when exactly the damage was done either way it was so much information for us to take in.
You could say I spent most of my childhood in that hospital, which I pretty much did but gratefully I was never alone my Mom and Dad were always there visiting. They would come back and forth and would spend nights at end there. While I was there I went through surgery after surgery from hamstring release, heel cord release, abductors/adductors release, and surgeries for a groin and belly button hernia. Along with the surgeries I had all kind of different therapy sessions from sensational (sensory), occupational, and of course physical. All to strengthen me, but they really couldn’t do very much else, so after months of hard work, hope, and doubt I was able to leave and go home. We had much more doubt when they gave us the news that was very devastating to us at the time; they told us that I would NEVER be able to walk on my own. That I would always have to use my wheelchair, walker or crutches and after we heard that it was like all hope was lost but we just didn’t want to leave it at that so their doubt was our hope and we just went home.
At this point I knew one thing that I never wanted to see a hospital again for a very long time. I was finally home and I was finally free it seemed, but of course everything was a challenge that I did and I knew that I’ll always have limitation. That didn’t stop me I had an amazing childhood just with a bunch of hurdles to jump through from school to having to go to therapy multiple times a week. I was grateful for it though each day I went to therapy I grew stronger and stronger. I am very glad my Mom was a stay at home Mom and she was able to get me all the help I needed and my Dad had a great and steady job at the time that help pay for all the expenses.
Growing up was rough not going to lie but I took it day by day and never gave up and every day I got stronger and so many people in my life gave me hope. Then that one day came the day myself, my family, my friends and the doctors will never forget that day was when I walked, me, all on my own with no help from anyone or anything. Going from a wheelchair to a walker to crutches to nothing, and this was all from hard work and hope that was never lost. It seemed like I was stronger than the doctor’s accusations, and there was no doubt there, now if only I could show the doctor that told us that non sense where I am at now and that I proved her wrong and to see her reaction and face would be priceless.
I always wished that I could be a role model for somebody to tell them everything I went through and how I never gave up and that I’m still till this day following my dreams no matter what the challenge or how many I went through, I stuck it out. I mean look at me now I’m a college student studying for something I’m going to enjoy day in and day out being a Child Psychologist. I have my younger brother to thank for that, he also has Cerebral Palsy (we are certainly a family full of odds) but he also was diagnosed with Asperger’s and he inspired me to follow these dreams. I always knew that God had a plan for me now I’m starting to see and I’m going to keep my head held high and see what else he has in store for me.
I close my eyes as time flies by I open them again and I'm eighteen. I look in the mirror and all I see is someone who is no longer me but someone who is new and improved, everything else still the same. Except I am no longer scared of what is ahead because now I'm ready to follow my dreams instead and I'm never going to stop because there’s a fighting will inside me you're just not able to see. The only ones that can see are the ones that really know me, my family and friends. One person in particular that always saw something special in me was my Mom, to her I always be her “little miracle.”
Now I know how powerful us directioners can be so PLEASE, help me out and make Damien's dream of becoming a song writer come true. He really, truly, deserves it. His story needs to be heard so please, help us with #TheDamienProject. Thank you. -Sara F. :)
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